H: When you really know he's the right person.

Throughout my life, I've heard stories of how people knew that their mate was "the one", and I'm certainly no exception. I figured it out when Josh held my hair back unprompted for me to wash my face when I couldn't find a hair tie. Of course, it wasn't just this act, but it's what it symbolized; that this person was MY person. That we would do something to and for each other that no one else would, and we'd do it unprompted.
Okay. That's all well and good, but that's talking about the mushy stuff. The candles and red wine while soaking in a bubble bath filled with romance. What about the boring mundane of the everyday? The bills to pay? Decisions to make? The darker times? Most marriages that are going to fail do so within the first two years and even the most loving couples argue on occasion.
I realized this yesterday and I've been thinking it over ever since: whenever Josh and I have a fight, I'm MORE certain that he's the right person for me, not less.
Here's why: we fight fair. No name calling, no shouting, no bringing up old events, no accusatory statements (which actually isn't on our radar since we get things settled). Even when we're angry, upset, frustrated, etc. we make a point to communicate well. And we trust each other enough to talk about what we're going through in our own heads and know that the other person won't make fun of or judge the other for it. Even though we're fighting, we're on the same side. We're always a team.
I'm happy to say that this gets results. When we fight, we work together to solve the problem. Admittedly, a lot of the credit (I'd say about 55-60%) goes to Josh since I'm a stubborn creature and he's more willing to be the first person to say "I see your side of it" and from there I agree and we work out the solution. I'm learning from him though and working on it. And luckily I can laugh at myself enough to say "can't, too stubborn!" or, my personal favorite, "...I'd like it just fine."
I'm learning that fighting with Josh is one of the best parts of our relationship specifically because it makes us both better people and our relationship stronger. I don't like it when we're angry, but I do like that both of us acknowledge that the thing we're fighting about is usually a symptom of something else that's bothering us, and we feel free to address it.
Proof that, once again, he is the most incredible man alive.

Nightmares....oh....the nightmares....

I've written before about some of the nightmares I've had while wedding planning but they've lately been leaving me alone. Given that we're now 22 days out, I suppose I was due for one.
In the one I had last night, everything went wrong. I had forgotten to make the escort cards, my hair stylist/beloved friend Janaya got angry and left, our make up artist was highly annoyed that we were three hours late, we weren't going to have any time for pictures, all the guests were arriving and eating at the wrong time, they were seeing me before the wedding getting my hair and make up done, someone in the bridal party brought an extra guest....it was just a mess.
But, like all my wedding nightmares, this one motivated me to get everything going. I've ordered the tags for the escort cards and they should be arriving very soon if they haven't already.
I never felt like I was running out of time in regards to my wedding. Never. It was always so abstract. Now that it's just a few weekends away....I'm starting to really feel the pressure. I can no longer add components or change the menu. I now have to solve very real logistical problems quickly and to everyone's satisfaction, which really puts the year of diplomacy to the test.
For a while there, I was really sick of my wedding. That's the main reason I didn't blog, I think. I really had nothing to say on the matter. But now that we're starting to get close, I'm once again really looking forward to it and trying to figure out all the cracks that I may have missed, all the bits that still need to be set and all the kinks that still need to be massaged. It's the moment of truth here, folks. And I will not tell a lie.

Updates, 20 something days out

We met with our amazing DJ Joe, our incredible jeweler Mike, and are now at 75 scarves. The seating chart is pretty much done and I'm at the point of not being concerned with anything. I'm just going to sit back, relax, and dwell in my strong belief that everything is going to go beautifully well.