H: How holy are we, anyway? Part 2

We met with the Karla, the matrimony coordinator yesterday. She reminded me a bit of my devout paternal grandmother, if she were younger, had the holy glow, and was perhaps a bit more spry. However it worked, I really liked her. I don't know exactly what I was expecting, but I'm glad she was there. I didn't feel weird being there with her, which was awesome. She had this way about her, just full of positive energy and she really helped to put me at ease. PLUS, when we told her about what the priest in Woodland told us, she looked greatly perturbed and told us we should call him back and tell him to stop giving parishoners incorrect information. Actually, no, she said. I'LL call him.
See, what we're doing is a Convalidation (having our marriage blessed and validated in the church), which is something that I only heard about once I started researching this whole shindig. At the time of meeting with the priest in Woodland, I'd never heard of one, and he mentioned NOTHING.
Again, I really liked her.

We didn't stay long...just long enough to fill out a bit of paperwork and the Focus test. I say "test", but really it was more of a 150 questions assessment, more if you have to fill out additional sections (which I did). It was reminiscent of those standardized tests I took as a kid; a booklet that you don't write in, plus a scantron sheet for bubbling. But the difference is the questions are about a sentence long, and the answers consist of Agree, Disagree, and Uncertain (or A, D, U). It was pretty interesting and, I felt, unobtrusive. It seemed like less of a compatibility test and more of an assessment...where does our relationship need work versus where are we completely in sync? Some were specific (i.e: have you discussed how you will raise your children with regard to the church?), and some were not (i.e: are you concerned with finances?).

Then there was the section for non-Catholics (me) with questions regarding if I'm aware of the church's expectation that our children will be raised in the faith, etc. which also turned out to be pretty interesting. Josh and I took a moment to discuss that one (again). He asked me if I was comfortable with it, as this is something that I'd go back and forth on. On the one hand, I like how I was raised. My parents didn't raise us in organized religion because they didn't want us to care if someone told us that they were Jewish or Catholic or Muslim, etc. And I don't. What I get from that is that during their time in the Catholic church, they must have witnessed a lot of discrimination towards other religions (which in my opinion - as an outsider looking in - is part of what causes problems like wars and genocide) and wanted us to avoid that, which is fair enough. On the other hand, I can think of times in my life where the structure and the community of organized religion would have been helpful for me, and I'd want that for my kids, too. Josh summed it up by mentioning that we're our own brand of Catholic, and I eventually determined that I was completely okay with having them baptized. Plus, I get to pick the Godparents.

We got a few other things out of the way; figuring out that we want Father McFadden (who is actually retired...but apparently likes doing weddings and baptisms since they are - in his opinion - the fun part of being a priest and they have much, much less paperwork), and getting a few options of when we have our ceremony. Apparently, we could do it in the middle of the week if we so chose! Considering that it will be Thanksgiving week and our families will be in town (part of why we chose November 20th in the first place), I think it would be perfect! Josh and I have yet to discuss that at any length though. Anyhoo, our meeting -short as it was - was a positive experience, and I'm very much looking forward to going back again next Monday.

H: How holy are we, anyway?

I haven't updated in a while. I'd be better about it, except there isn't a lot going on right now. It's only in the past week that we've had new developments at all....I imagine that this will be updated more and more regularly the closer we get to the wedding.
...and the more Tracy reminds me ;-) (Hi love!).
Regardless, this is a long one!

I remember when I was first getting my massage therapists certification (since FYI, licenses in the state of California for the profession do not yet exist). One of the things that they constantly harped on was that each county and each city was different as far as their work requirements went. If you wanted to get a business license, you needed (for example) 125 hours of training in Sacramento County, 250 in Sacramento the city and so on and so forth. If you don't want to get the training necessary to work in a certain area, just move a town over.
When we went to talk to a priest about getting married, those memories came roaring back.

I haven't yet documented our quest to be recognized and blessed by the Catholic church. I don't know why exactly...probably because it's been such a rich topic of debate, confusion, and reflection with Josh and I. We're a couple living together before marriage, or "living in sin" for you religious peeps out there, which isn't something that the Catholic church traditionally looks kindly on. It's sometimes all a bit confusing for me since I was raised outside of organized religion while Josh was raised Catholic and is more or less practicing.
Since I wanted to get married outdoors to satisfy my spiritual beliefs and the Catholic church won't do that (unless under extraordinary circumstances and you need a special dispensation from the Bishop), we knew early on that we would need to have two ceremonies; one civil and one religious.

The first priest we talked to agreed to do it, under the condition that we be together for two years before agreeing to get married, not live together, and not...uh..."love" each other. We weren't interested in satisfying any of these requirements, so I was extremely disappointed. (I should add that being blessed by the Catholic church specifically isn't overly important to me personally. It would be nice and I'd like it very much to be blessed by a religious entity, but it's not the end all be all of my spiritual experience. Josh was a bit of a different story, and since it's important to him, it's important to me. Period.) Anyhoo, remember when I was talking about those varying requirements for massage therapy? Here's where the memories came roaring back. I didn't know this, but the requirements vary from parish to parish. Yes, not just from state to state or town to town....parish to parish. If you don't like what one priest tells you, try another one. I was a bit amazed but onward ho!

The next priest we met with made me cry. We told him our circumstances and he went on an on about how if we weren't married in the church BEFORE our civil ceremony than the church wouldn't bless our marriage. Ever. And therefore Josh would be living in sin (the only rectification to that being to say that he's sorry that he did it) which would mean he couldn't ever receive the sacraments. No last rites, no communion, nothing. I felt so dirty, like I was ruining his chances of going to heaven, but mostly that I was denying him something that was so important to him. So I'm sitting in this priest's office, crying, and he's looking at me both blankly and like I have three heads (I have no idea how he did it and I probably never will). It wasn't the best experience, but we agreed to the conditions, so we put a mandatory donation/deposit down and left.

To back up a bit, the previous Easter I went to Mass with Josh and Laura, Josh's mom. The priest speaking was Father McFadden, and I was absolutely enamoured with him. His style, his demeanor, everything. He made it clear that he had his own opinions and the Catholic church had theirs - he actually spoke the words "now, I don't think that's what they meant" - but he was still very devout. I suppose I should make it clear that I'm no atheist. I'm convinced that I've seen God and I really appreciate it when I can feel comfortable with a member of any clergy. I suppose I simply don't want them to misunderstand me when I say I don't know if that's what they meant, either. The point is that I really enjoyed him and sitting all alone in the pews while the others went up for communion I thought "I wonder if we could get him...."

Flash forward about six months and we decide to try to find another parish. It wasn't so much the requirements. We'd already ascertained that we'd be marrying in the church first, which was fine, but we wondered if we could find another kinder, gentler priest.
(Incidentally, when we told Laura - Laura the uber devout Catholic that aspires to be a nun - about our experience with priest #2 she said "...I've NEVER heard of that before....". Hmm. )
Laura had mentioned St. Mary's in Vacaville to us a couple of times, noting that they still had a Latin Mass, and asking Josh if he'd like to go sometime. Frankly, I think that'd be kind of cool. But anyway, she also mentioned a few weeks ago that Esparto, the town in which she lives, was going to be getting a new priest. Apparently Father McFadden was just on loan and was going to be going back to his regular assignment. At St. Marys. In Vacaville. Yes. OUR St. Mary's in Vacaville....a glimmer of hope......
Josh called and left a message for the matrimony coordinator and a few days later she called us back. He told her our circumstances and barring some medical emergency WE GET FATHER MCFADDEN!!!!
Soooooooooooooo excited!!!!
On Monday we get to meet with the church to begin our marriage process which includes some pre-marital counseling called pre Cana (Dante's Inferno...anyone? Anyone?). I don't know who we're going to be meeting with...I don't know if we get to meet with Father McFadden that day. But I'm very excited. But also very nervous. Is he going to look at me both blankly and like I have three heads? Is he going to treat me like I'm out to firebomb the church? Is he going to understand that I have only good intentions? Will he know that I think he's cool?
I don't really have any good answers right now. I wonder if he'll know that, too.

H: PS

Josh's comment to me after seeing this article tonight:

*kisses me sweetly*
"I'm so glad you're real"

And P.P.S:
Tracy, my darling sister, we love you so, so much!

H: Just an update....

I am currently on scarf #14 and my oldest sister has graciously offered to help in the Favor Endeavour.
Oh yeah. It's gonna happen :-)

Also, I just have to point out how excited I am to be sharing the Holiday season with the man I love! Our families are close enough so we can do two houses so we'll go to my family's place in the morning and head to Josh's around 4 or so.
On a completely unrelated note, my new mantra is "marathon, not a sprint."

:-D

Exactly one year from today...

...I will be marrying my angel, my companion, my partner, my love, my heart, my best friend.
It's going to rock.
:-)

H: Our DJ for sure and certain

Remember when we were talking about DIYing the music?

Yyyyyyyeah, we sorta knew going in that it would be a lot to ask our guests to do, and we weren't that interested asking our guests to do anything during our wedding and subsequent reception. Likewise, we weren't interested in manning the iTunes either, which led us to the realization that DIYing this particular aspect of our wedding was not going to work out. This totally stressed us out considering that we have a budget so tight that you could bounce a quarter off it (though not literally I'm afraid...we need that quarter). When we met with Kelly at Monte Verde Inn, she asked us if we have a DJ in mind. We said no, that we were planning to do that ourselves. She raised an eyebrow and quickly dismissed us, saying something about "we'll check with Joe". Joe. Who's Joe? Oh, he's the DJ on the preferred vendors list. Okie dokie.

Flash forward a few months and our amazing photographer Jessica emails us to ask if we'd booked Joe yet. Who is Joe? Oh, he's the DJ on her preferred vendors list, too. I emailed her back to say that, no we haven't but did she think he'd be willing to negotiate his prices? He answered me back that day saying that he got my information from Jessica, and yes he would, and would we like to meet? So we did at our preferred meeting-with-vendors place (Peet's Coffee).

It turns out that if you googled "rude, over-priced, annoying, egotistical, narcissitic, claw-my-face-off, not to mention mean" (anything really, as long as it's vile), the direct antonym of the result would most definitely - without question - be Joe. Seriously, this dude should take his rightful place in the Encyclopedia under "awesome". Not only does he only work by referral, not only has he been doing this for over 20 years, not only do people rave about him, not only is he extremely reasonably priced, but he is the nicest guy I think I've ever met. And I've met some! His attitude, his demeanor, his philosophy, everything about this man screamed "YES!"

And the best part of all of this? The negotiation. I've never had to negotiate a price before, so I didn't know how this would work, but I felt comfortable enough with Joe to tell him so. So he said, okay, let's talk about that. He then proceeded to list off all the stuff that he does at weddings and how much it costs. He then asked what we could do. I mumbled no more than a grand. His response?

"Oh. I was going to say $900".

!!!!

Who does that?

Joe does that. Joe of SJ's Disc Jockey. OUR Disc Jockey! The one that I just sent a signed contract to.

This is going to be the most rockin' shindig ever.

Blogfest post #3: Our amazing Photographer

Josh and I were already pretty sure about the photographer that we were going to be going with. We liked his work, his style, and his philosophy. Then we went to a wedding of a friend of mine that he shot and - while we still liked his work - we decided to keep looking for a photographer that was closer to our area, and more "us". That's when I decided to hit up weddingwire.com. It's a site where vendors can put up their info, and brides and grooms can post about their experiences with said vendors. This is something that I really appreciate since, in an environment that's as emotionally charged as wedding planning, no one wants to take chances so you'd better believe that if someone has a bad experience with a vendor I'm considering, I want to know about it. And honestly, the odds are that if I see a bad review (unless there are quite a number from other clients counteracting it), I'm going to nix the vendor right away.

We narrowed down our list to about six photographers that we wanted to take a closer look at. One of the ones that I loved right away but didn't think we could get or afford was Stout Photography (http://www.stoutphoto.com/about.php). I remember reading something about only doing 30 per year, etc. etc. But such glorious work. Truly, truly exceptional.

The time came to start emailing vendors for pricing lists and meetings and whatnot. Almost on a whim (I couldn't help myself) I emailed Stout. What came back very soon after was a lighthearted message about what you'd expect - pricing, etc. It made me giggle. A little trickle of hope appeared when I got a look at their pricing list. I held my breath. Oh my....we could afford this!!! It turns out that she (Jessica, the lead photographer for Stout) was only $300 more than the same package with the guy we'd considered before. And we LOVE her!

Not only is her work fantastic, but she's extremely, extremely nice and passionate about what she's doing. She was completely energetic when we met, and was so happy to have us in her home.

Needless to say, after meeting with another photographer there was simply no comparison. We clicked so well and this morning, we paid her retainer. We can't wait to begin working with her!

H: My new wedding obsession (aka, "the Favors")

I forgot to mention my other little helpers in the last post about invitations, so at this point, I'd like to give them a nod.
Dondi: floor supervisor: And Trotsky: quality control:

Moving on.

Immediately after the invitation project was completed, I felt the urge to knit. It's normal, it happens a couple of times a year and stays with me for a few months. But then, two things occurred simulaneously:

1. I had just been discussing wedding favors on weddingbee forums and

2. I was still in hardcore wedding crafting mode.

On weddingbee, we'd just been discussing the intricacies of favors, and what we consider a good one and what we consider a bad one and why. For example, my least favorite type of wedding favor are things that are personalized for the bride and groom AND I can't use but feel too guilty to throw away (i.e.: a keepsake of some kind...a snowglobe, a coaster, etc.).

Wheras good favors and my personal favorite are things that may be personalized, but can be used, eaten, etc.:

personalized M&Ms = good favor. They can be eaten.

personalized matchbooks = awesome favor. Those can fit easily into my purse and be taken anywhere.

plants = totally awesome favor due to their double whammy staus. They can be grown and potentially eaten.

So I knew that I wanted my favors to be personal, but also something that could be used. That combined with my desire to use my hands (i.e. knit) sparked the notion that I could make the favors. I could KNIT the favors. I could knit SCARVES as favors.

Since our wedding ceremony and the cocktail hour will be outside in November (albeit with loads of heaters around), I wanted to do something to say "I understand that it's cold, thanks so much for doing this for us, here's something to stay warm with". Originally the idea was to buy inexpensive pashminas from a wholesaler and put out a basket with them. I like this idea better. I like the idea that our guests are going to be wearing something that the bride gave to them to say thank you, and to make them just a little more comfortable.

And so, ladies and gentlemen, I will in fact be knitting/crocheting 100 scarves for our wedding favors.

So far, I'm up to eight!

H: Blogfest Post #1: The Invitations!

One of the first decisions that we made once we started planning was that we were going to DIY our invitations. Do I regret this decision? I'm happy to say, absolutely not. For us, it is definitely the right way to go.

Sitting at home in the throes of unemployment kick started my creativity. I wanted very much to dress up our beautiful - but plain- invitations that had been purchased at Staples. I had seen a picture in The Knot magazine of envelope inserts made out of fabric. They were bright, colorful, and unique. Perfect! Off to the craft store I went, taking my budding ideas and my hopes with me (you have no idea how bored I was).

I found myself first going down the scrapbooking aisle, and it was there that I found it. It was 48 pages of textured scrapbooking cardstock, two pages of each color and pattern, and it was GORGEOUS. Absolutely perfect. AND it was 40% off. Score!

I briefly wandered around the fabric aisles, but I didn't find anything that I loved, like the cardstock. So a paper cutter and a few gluesticks later, home I went with my prize.
The first thing that I did was draw out a pattern for the template. The template would need to fully insert into the envelope with a lip cut out so the envelope could still be closed and glued shut. Here's what I ended up with:

Neat huh?

To ensure that I had a straight edge after tracing the template onto the scrapbooking paper, I employed the help of a paper cutter:

I do declare, I love this little thing. It was so satisfying to hear and feel the "ssshhhhhh" it made while easily slicing that cardstock in two. *sigh*

Next of course came the cutting out of the inserts, which I did with a pair of trusty scissors and an even more trusty companion:

My Mom.

Not only is she beautiful, she's also good with a pair of scissors (and I'm infinitely grateful for her help!).

Once everything was traced and cut out, it was time to stuff. And stuff. And stuff. And then glue! Here's what the finished product looked like:It was wonderful and turned out beautifully, but I felt like there was something missing. At some point, it was determined that we should have something on the outside of the invitations as well, which is where the stamps come in.

Did you know that they now make acryllic stamps that you fit onto a clear plastic block? I didn't until Mom brought them up and let me tell you, they are as good as it gets! Finally, I can fully see where the stamp will fall!

Anyhoo, behold! The outer envelopes:

So at that point I was done.

...then I felt the itch begin. The one that said that the OUTER envelopes were done...but what about the inner?

See, our invitations came in a kit. This kit has 50 invitations, 50 outer envelopes, and then 50 response cards with their envelopes. So....there was still plenty of leftover cardstock and lots of inner envelopes that were so very, very naked. Yes, yes something must be done here. At least, that was my reckoning. At this point, Josh seriously feared for my sanity but being the wonderful man that he is, he just grinned, kissed me on the noggin, and let me have at it.

I mentioned before about the awesome paper cutter with the awesome "sssshhhhh" sensation. Well, said paper cutter had at this point produced about 96 strips of fairly uniformed cardstocky goodness. I opted to glue these together and recreate the template at a smaller scale. That got me about 48 smaller scale inserts; not enough to complete the project. So, I decided to use the inverse and add a stamp which I think looks fabulous. The completed project:

Next up, to match the outer part of the outer envelopes was the all important stamp, which our invitees will see twice. On the outer envelope in blue:

And on the invitation itself in copper:

All in all, the entire project took about four days to complete from start to finish. Obsessed, I tell you! But I had decided to treat wedding planning like a full time job, and I've got to say, I'm extremely pleased with the result. My one regret is that we cannot yet print them since we still need to determine time of ceremony, etc. But they're almost fully complete! I can't wait until we get to the postage stamp stage.

Next up: my new wedding based obsession!

H: And.....we're back! Three posts today.

Yyyyyeah, so it's been a long time since I blogged. Break out the wet noodle, because I do NOT have a good excuse. I knew that I wanted to blog about our invitations and I was just too lazy to upload the pictures since I have to do it on Josh's laptop due to a variety of reasons. Don't judge! There's been lots going on on the wedding planning front.
We've booked Monte Verde Inn, which I believe I've blogged about. But we've also booked an amazing photographer, finished our invitations (everything but the printing), and I've started on an ambitious favor project.
Blogfest November 2009, here we go!

H: It begins...

I started my dress search last Saturday. I must say it was fun! I had all the appropriate undergarments, my inspiration book, and my friends in tow and was sufficiently loosey on pomegranate mimosas.

Saturday: one shop, nothing.

Sunday: two shops, a few things, but not exactly "the one" and two that I liked were waaaaaaaay out of my price range. Actually, I found a dress that's a little different and lovely and only $400, but I told myself I'd keep looking since I didn't feel like it was quite "the one".

Monday: several shops and nothing.

I'm not overly concerned or frustrated by this. I know that finding the right dress takes time and patience, and I was very happy being surrounded by friends and family at various intervals. I've taken a more calm and serene attitude about the whole thing, since in my opinion that's the healthiest way to go about it.

But that doesn't change the fact that last night, Josh and I went to look for his wedding suit and we had it found and bought (INCLUDING SHOES) for well under budget and in about an hour and a half.

WTF???

Do we do this to ourselves? Is the perfect dress really just an illusion fabricated by the wedding industry? Do I - I who never dreamed about my perfect dress - really need to find "the one"?

Sigh.

But, I'm going to keep my chin up and trust my gut....it will happen!!! Probably when I least expect it.

H: My year long holiday season

I feel like it's Christmas Eve Eve.
The day before Christmas Eve is always the most exciting to me since I know that tomorrow there's fun stuff to do to prepare for the following day, when all the tension is released and pure enjoyment can commence. I'm always a little disappointed on Christmas day, since it's the preparation that I enjoy the most. The day itself never quite compares, which is not to say that I don't enjoy it quite thoroughly. I do. And when Christmas day is over, you have something to remember it by, something you'd longed for in one way or another. Obviously in the case of my wedding, I'll have a marriage to the man I love in all his remarkable glory. I'll continue to be the luckiest woman alive.

Tomorrow, we take Dondi in for a good grooming and Trotsky in for a follow up (the poor dear has been shaved and coned since last Friday), but then it's off to Monte Verde Inn to put down our deposit and sign the contract and thus will begin one very long Christmas Eve Eve.
Since I'm unemployed, wedding planning has become a full time job (aside from looking for work, of course). I spend several hours each week reading about weddings, finding ideas for things that I didn't know I loved or solutions to problems I hadn't considered I may have. Part of me is concerned that I'll run out of things to research.
Incidentally, I didn't realize what a balancing act wedding planning is, especially as it pertains to time (other categories would be things such as environment and family politics). Things that I want to get out of the way (invitations, save the date cards) I can't since it's too early. Depending on what kind of dress I end up with, I may just be right on time. And depending on our venue, I could have been late. It's amazing. One piece of planning will invariably lead to several more; there are consequences and considerations to throwing this kind of party. I wonder if this was what it was like all the time back in the day, when things were more formal.

Extra special thank you to Dana, one of our groomspeople for coming with me yesterday to Nordstroms to try on proper undergarments. Dana, you're a jewel and a darling and we're lucky to have you!
Wedding dress shopping will be in full swing as of Saturday, which is both exciting and nerve wracking. Exciting because obviously I'm going to be getting married in this dress and I'm very much in love with my husband-to-be.
Nerve wracking because what if I don't find anything that I like? What if I fall in love with a dress that's waaaaaaaaay out of my price range? What if I flip out because I'm wearing a wedding dress? Plus, the Columbus day sale at Macy's ends on Monday and as Dana pointed out, we shouldn't get Josh's suit before I figure out my dress so I'm really hoping I find one this weekend. Blue pinstrip IZOD for $200.00? Yeah. That must happen.

Anyway, I've taken precautions to make sure nothing gets in the way of an enjoyable afternoon. We'll meet at Mom's at one and I'll have plenty of people that love me surrounding me to make it an extra special event. We'll eat some snacks and bond a little and then off we'll go!
Plus, I plan on being just a teensy (and I do mean teensy) bit buzzed. I'm thinking pomegranate mimosas.

And thus shall begin a lovely, long, and successful holiday season :-)

H: Coordinating, researching, and planning...oh my!

The time has come to search for The Dress...the one that will make me laugh and cry in one fell swoop...

I've never gone wedding dress shopping before, so I posted on Weddingbee and asked around and here were the top three things I learned:
1. Wear appropriate underwear. This means a strapless bra, corset, whatever (Nordstroms, here I come!!!).
2. Get a little drunk beforehand. It will make things infinitely more fun. And
3. Enjoy the experience (perhaps with a little help from your bubbly buddy, one Miss Mimosa).

I'm thinking meet at Mom's, have a few appetizers, bond a bit, and hit the road. Woo hoo! This will be a brilliant opportunity to get most of the bridal party together for some getting-to-know-you time. They may find dresses they love too!
The only thing we'll be missing is the presence of my darling Maid of Honor Tracy, who will be traipsing around the East Coast wowing the likes of John's Hopkins and Princeton. Give 'em Hell love!!! Don't worry, you will be kept apprised. Oh, how you shall be kept apprised.

All in all, I'm very excited to go dress shopping but also a little nervous. I don't exactly know what to expect, and I'm a little worried that I'll fall in love with something that is way out of my price range. A very little bit, actually. I have every confidence in my bargain hunting abilities, so the plan right now is to hit up Bridal Salons in Sacramento, and from there Bridal Mart to see if they have the dress...for less!

I'm happy to say, I've already been doing my homework! LOTS of homework. Wedding planning is brilliant for unemployment, let me tell you.
Anyhoo, I've been told that having pictures to bounce off any sales associates that will be assisting me would be a grand idea, so I created a dress book. I took a 70 page notebook and then scoured quite a few bridal magazines for the dresses that caught my eye. I spent the majority of this morning very happily tearing, cutting, gluing, and making notes on my favorites, and then using the store locators to find them. Blessed, blessed store locators!
I've come up with altogether three locations: Bella Donna in Sacramento (which has pretty decent reviews on Yelp.com), Bridal Mart in Rancho Cordova, and finally House of Fashions in Sac, aka The Belly of the Beast. After 26 reviews on Yelp, they have two and a half stars, and one of my dear friends gave me the personal "Don't go there". Still, they carry three brands that I'm looking for, and that I would have to go to two other separate locations to find. It may be worth it. I'm hoping that if I do go, I'll go in saying "I want to see this, this and this" and they'll just bring me what I ask and leave. I'll keep my expectations low on that one...but anyway, yeah.
Dress shopping hurrah!!!

H: My first "BINGO!" moment

This just happened, and I wanted to pass it along. Awwwwwwwwwwww man, really excited.

Okay, okayokayokay.

*deep breath*

I was trolling Weddingbee.com as per usual, when I came across an entry on the boards. For those of you unfamiliar with Weddingbee (and if you're planning on getting married I suggest you become familiar ASAP), it's an online community of those preparing to get married or are newly married. It's a great place to alleviate confusion, share excitement without being annoying, and offer or gather support for life's little (or not so little) challenges. It's free to join and they don't send you anything annoying. Members can go onto the boards and post questions, ideas, rants, etc.

Well, 3 days ago, someone started a thread called "white bouquets". The bride in question was planning on having a white bouquet and needed inspiration ideas. Other bees swarmed to her aid, and while scrolling down, I came across this beauty:

Gorgeous, huh?

This was my first "Aha!" moment since my engagement ring.

Oh. Maybe I should post something about my engagement ring. ... Later.

But I wanted to share this excitement immediately. I may change my mind as other factors are introduced to my planning, such as when I find my wedding dress - which, as my friend Tracy D who is also planning her wedding pointed out the other day (Hi, Tracy D!) is a huge factor. Aside from choosing the groom, it is perhaps the biggest factor.

But this bouquet will be The Bouquet that all other bouquets are judged against, held up to to see how -and if - they compare.

*Squeal!*

DIY: DJ

Because our venue is fairly small and we're only inviting about 110 folks, and because of the added expense we've opted not to go with a DJ, but rather to use a laptop and iTunes.
*gasp!*
Don't worry, we're not crazy.
...
At least, not so crazy that we don't know what we're doing. From all the research that I've done on the subject, I've determined that it's possible as long as there are a few factors put into play:

- Plan, plan, and plan some more. Make sure that if you do separate playlists (ceremony, dinner, dancing) that they are long enough to cover the activity involved. When in doubt, overestimate.
- Have a set (and small) number of people designated to touch the computer. There is to be no "meh, I'm Joe Schmoe and I don't like this song so I'm going to skip ahead!".
We'll be launching a website soon, and when we do we'll have a page where people can request their favorite songs to be played with only one guideline: if it will offend Grandma, we're not going to play it.
- Have a back-up. In our case, an iPod and iPod player. Given the small space, we'll be able to make it happen.

One of the reasons for having a DJ that we're still working on is that the DJ often acts as the Master of Ceremonies. There are really only about a half dozen announcements that need to be made; introduction of the couple, that everyone can eat, that we're cutting the cake, the first dance, the father/daughter dance, the tossing of the bouquet and garter, and that everyone needs to get their groove on.

We don't want this duty to be so prohibitive that whomever is doing it can't enjoy the party, so perhaps this is grounds for splitting it between two people. Though of course, whenever that happens, there is the risk for communication breakdown. But that's what lists are for!
We'll see. It'll all make sense as we move forward in the planning process.

The Venue and....etc.

H:
Okay, so our venue. For all those in favor of a wedding that is as stress free as possible, say "aye"
* raises hand* "AYE!"
Okay, motion carries.

To set our motion in motion, Josh and I will be enlisting the help (read: services) of the good people at Monte Verde Inn. They don't know this yet since we haven't officially reserved the date/put down a deposit, but we'll be doing that soon.
Their website can be found at www.monteverdeinn.net (and for the record, their grounds actually DO look like that. Amazing!)
The only thing that I'm nervous about is what the venue will look like in November, but we'll be taking care of that with a second visit to the venue when we go to put down our deposit.

Monte Verde Inn is an all inclusive space, meaning that they provide the food, centerpieces, venue, etc. at one flat per person rate. All we have to worry about is the photographer, the bridal flowers, and a videographer (if we want one. Which we do. It'll probably be another DIY project). There are two packages to choose from: the Cinderella, and the Princess Bride package. The Princess Bride package is a little less "us" (foie gras, etc.), so we're going with the former.
The Cinderella package includes two entrees (including prime rib and stuffed chicken breast), three sides (including "portabella mushroom risotto...") , three appetizers, fresh bread, salad, and the CAKE.
Yes. The cake is included in the flat, per person cost, which in our case is $80 for anyone over the age of 10.

I've been scouring several websites such as yelp.com, weddingbee.com, and weddingwire.com to see if I can find any dirt on them, anything that would make me not want to go with them. Thus far, nada.

The only qualm I have is how they treated Dondi, Josh's service dog. We thought we'd forgotten her cape (we hadn't, it had fallen beside a seat in the car), and while otherwise accomodating, the proprietess wasn't going to let her in. I could totally see her point of view, but it didn't sit right with me when she demanded to see identification that this was a service dog, which we don't have and were never given. She finally let Dondi in when to the front rooms only when I showed her a picture of Dondi in her cape. We went about the tour of the other rooms while Mom stayed with her, and came to find out later that Dondi doesn't actually need identification, which is why we were never given any.
According to the ADA, even if a dog isn't marked the person and their animal can't be excluded from places that a patron is normally allowed to go (so the owner's claim that it was a health code violation is more or less dumb unless they allow patrons to roam freely about the kitchens). There are certain restrictions to this. If, for example, Dondi posed a threat to public safety or if she was disturbing the primary functions of the business - which of course she was not - then she could have been excluded.

This was a few months ago, but it still bothers me. This woman claimed to know the law regarding service animals, and since we'd only had Dondi for a few months I didn't know enough about it at the time to know that actually, she only knew the bits and pieces. I don't fault her. I don't know for sure, but I doubt business owners are given a handbook, and service animals aren't given identification across the board.

On one hand, Dondi is - without question - a dog. She has fur, she goes woof, she eats dog food. On the other hand, she's a valuable member of our team. She's not a pet!
I can see both sides.
Maybe I'd feel less deeply about this if it didn't happen more often than it should. Josh was actually asked to leave a store once because they didn't want to risk dog hair on the clothes, and this is when Dondi was fully marked.
Compounding it is that apparently a person can buy service vests off various websites, such as eBay. By the way, if you're thinking of doing that, please, please, PLEASE don't.

Okay, other than that, Monte Verde Inn yay!!!

A blog in which I have things to report...

H:
I was informed today that the blog has a fan in my dear friend and adopted sister (and Maid of Honor!), Miss Tracy. Hello my dove. Welcome! Today's blog is dedicated to you and your fabulousness.

I finished my inspiration board today, and I have to say I'm quite pleased with it. I'll take a picture to post as soon as I figure out exactly how to do that. Currently, it involves both Ubuntu and Windows.
Aside from that, there is a picture of a dress that I really like from designer Claire Pettibone that is just about perfect. The picture that I have is not one with a haggard and depressed looking model,

(like so:)

but rather in the picture I have, the young woman wearing this dress is rosy, delicate, with kind eyes. The picture - cut out of theknot.com, is fueling my inspiration. Sigh.

Moving on...

We've decided to change our wedding date from April 30, 2011 to November 20th, 2010. Not too long, just six months. But it occurred to us that we're perfectly happy to move the event up six months. It's the off season so we're more likely to get better deals, #1. And #2, how many weddings have you gone to in November? Yeah. Me neither. So how cool will this be?

The other night, we sat down and figured out how this whole wedding budget thing is going to work out. It's really, really interesting. Here's what our budget looks like:
Venue (more on this later): ~$12,000.00
Photographer: $2,700.00
Wedding Attire: $1,500.00
Flowers (DIY): $250.00
Attendant Gifts: $500.00
Invites (DIY): $150.00
Stamps: $100.00
Ring: $1,000.00
Total: ~$18,200

$18,200 for a party? Turns out, it's a steal for a wedding that we're envisioning: private, intimate, the perfect blend of tradition and modern zeal, and best of all FUN.

The idea for a budget is an interesting one. You take how much you think everything will cost, and then figure out if you have - or have the time to raise - the cash. The system works though. I'll be keeping everyone posted about how we're doing with it.

Okay, upcoming blogs:
DIY projects
The Venue
Our vendors

Don't let me forget!

Wedding planning for the unemployed...

Things that are awesome when you're unemployed and planning a wedding (initial list)

- DIY (Do It Yourself) projects, including (but not limited to) flowers, save-the-dates, invitations, and pretty much anything else (this includes finding new uses for florist tape).
- The confidence boost that you get when you realize that you can, in fact, DIY.
- Amazon.com
- Weddingbee.com
- Costco
- The sudden understanding that it doesn't matter if it's teal instead of chartreuse. No. one. will. notice.
- Google images
- The feeling that you're sticking it to the wedding industry by not following their rules.

And above everything else, the absolute most awesome part about being unemployed and planning a wedding is (* drum roll *)...
- A supportive fiance with a great eye for design and an opinion. (*cymbal crash *)

H: I have a cold

Helen here.
It's almost midnight on Thursday the 10th and I've come down with a cold. Josh is sitting in a rocking chair across the room reading The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy and has just poured me some cranberry juice with ice.
As I sneeze and engage in futile searches of my pockets for wadded up Kleenex I'm happy to report that all I can think about is how lucky I am to have him.

Ooooooo we have a blog!!!!

Look honey! I'm a blogger! Honey? Are you looking? Sweet.

Oh, hello there. Helen here. Welcome to our blog, in which we describe our upcoming nuptials, our views on the world, and our lives together as a budding couple. We'll try to make this fun for you.

Howdy all, Josh here from my couch talking to you and well.....BOOOOOOOOOO!